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Childhood
When I was young
Just a little boy
I just wanted to be older
A real big boy
But now I’m there
And all grown up
I’d swap it all
To be a young pup
The best of my years
Were in my youth
That goes without saying
This is the truth
We had fun and games
Shots on swings
Mum what’s for Christmas?
See what Santa brings
We’d play all the games
Hide n seek and kick the can
I dream of my youth
From an old man
I taught my grand daughter how to walk
And now she shouts as she learns to talk
The game she plays is giving a hug
Next thing she’ll say is “where’s the plug”
She mixes her words
She’s all in a muddle
She’s my wee lassie
I’ll give her a cuddle
TIME TRAVEL
If I could travel thru time?
What would I do?
Would I stop a big war?
Or foil a crime
Would I go to Dallas?
And stop a shooting
Or pick the lottery numbers
I would be laughing and hooting
Would I go to the 60’s?
And get me some mates
Maybe a guy called Steve Jobbs
Or another called Bill Gates
I dunno if I would be such a maddy
I would go back and have words with my daddy
I would take him away from all the beer
Just so I could have him back here
You left so quickly
You never said goodbye
It was so hard to watch
All of our family cry
Religion
Catholic, Protestant, Hindu or Jew
I don’t know what the hell to do
Red yellow black or white
Tell them please no one is right
They shoot they kill
I say this is a damn disgrace
Someone should tell them
We are the Human race
On The Street
My daddy he did not support me
The cops tried to report me
I always wear a frown
Cos everyone tries to put me down
They say Essex is the only way
But that’s not what the people say
Son you are just losing
Your life aint for choosing
I sit begging on the street
Needing tit bits just to eat
Throwing money in my cup
I know the way is up
I just keep aiming high
To reach for more than just the sky
God make it easier for me
Or I am gonna surely die
Just because of my clothes
You look down your nose
I know there is more to me
I am a man and I am free
Now I am up for the fight
At the end of the tunnel there is light
So don’t beat me down
I have thrown away the stupid frown
Old Age
When I was young and growing up
I thought of being old
But they all kept secrets from me
All the things that were not told
My bones all ache
My bald spot hurts
My memory is shot
Where did I put my shirt?
They say youth is wasted on the young
For that I have to agree
Seems only yesterday
When I was twenty three
So many things I hate with age
Some I would like to miss
The saggy skin the lack of teeth
And 17 times a night to piss
New Year
2011 an awful year glad it’s at an end
I have lost so many people
A niece, an uncle and my own father
Whom I loved until the end
Now 2012 is almost here
But I did not shed a tear
I don’t want another like this one
It is my greatest fear
So here’s to 2012
I will not wear a frown
I know they are watching over me
And in heaven wearing crowns
Rabbits
I had a lovely rabbit
It had such big long ears
But my dad he went and ate it
After too many beers
It wisnae me
I'm standing in a lift
It's a real mystery
Who really farted
Well i know it wisnae me
I'm looking around
The air has went flat
Somebody has opened their cheeks
And dropped a dead rat
I'm holding my breath
Wish the lift would go faster
It's making me sick
That will be a disaster
Just who it was
I can't seem to figure
Maybe my daughter
She let out a snigger
Friendship
He is never on time
He is always late
He is always there for me
I call him a mate
I can tell him things
And he will never repeat
He doesn’t care
If I am messy or neat
With me he will walk
With me he will trudge
Whatever I say
He will not judge
Our friendship has lasted
An extremely long time
We have been naughty
But committed no crime
My pal is not the usual type
He cannot tell and cannot clipe
He misses me when I am on the job
But he is here he’s my dog Bob
Films
So many genres
To choose or to pick
What do I mean
Movies, films or flicks
Got sci fi and action
Comedy and horror
Most are so bad
You’ll forget by tomorrow
At one time u could enter
Just for a jam jar
To see them crash
And roll a new car
But when I go to the flicks
I may seem like a bore
You’ll know where I am
Just listen for the snore
Drink
I used to drink so much
But now is very rare
It took the life of my dad
For whom we all did care
Mr. Whyte and MacKay
He said they are my friends
Did they know how low you’d go
Into darkness you would descend
The drug u loved so much
And grew for it to depend
It took you away one Saturday morn
For us it was the end
I cleared my house of all the booze
Beer, whisky, Rum and Gin
I don’t need it anymore
I chucked it in the bin
Diamonds
Over millions of years they are formed
So deep underground
But when u give one to a girl
U hear a lovely sound
Is this for me I hear with glee?
Only cost 2 months salary
U answer when I slip in on my finger
Your response is instant you do not linger
They say they are a girls best friend
Or so I am told
Wrap it up in a band of gold
And it will be there when she is old
People die to get them
Forced to work as slaves
They fight back and run away
They end up in a grave
So I don’t want a diamond
This is how my feelings tend
Give these people a better life
And not their life to end.
Dad
You left so quickly
You did not even say goodbye
It hurts so much
To watch people cry
All through life
On you we did depend
We love you dad
You were a friend
I know the words I should have said
But now lie useless in my head
Every day I will think of you
In my heart I know this is true
You are now at peace
In a place of rest
My wee dad
You were the best.
CHOCOLATE
I love sweets and chocolate too
Mars and Bounty and even a Twix
Anything is good
When I am needing a fix
There are 4 main colours
White, dark, milk and Caramac too
But I can never have one
It needs to be two
When u need some love
And you need to trick her
Give her some chocolate
And get into her snickers
Too much chocolate can be a mistake
Eat too many and have a toothache
So when u are fiddling with dentures
You are the master I am the apprentice
I will stay in tonight
Home to roost
I will get me a 2 litre of Bru
And a Cadburys Boost
Apples
Years ago apples were just a fruit
But through the time have evolved
And made loads of loot
They started in the 70’s
Now release the sounds
Now are computers
Costing hundreds of pounds
They have iPads and iPods
And hundreds of games
With hundreds of weird
and wonderful names
Now have got cheaper
And not just for snobs
Just one guy to thank
The late Steve Jobbs